Old ladies, and Babies, and Rags, OH MY!

It has been quite some time since I updated! A lot has happened since my last post. I think the best way to explain how the last couple of weeks have gone, is to have another picture post! YAY, pictures!

First off, my boss added a new little family member this month! Yay, welcome to the craziness that is about to be your life, little man! :) He is so precious, and the other kiddos just love him to pieces!

Annabelle enjoyed finger painting for the very first time. She was a mess, of course! She ended up with paint in her hair, around her mouth (and in it), all over her torso, chair, arms, legs, etc. The child is a hot mess. But, she's adorable, so it helps!

 

While attempting to take a shower this past weekend, I thought keeping Annabelle contained in the "saucer" was the greatest idea! Of course, I look out, and see that she STILL managed to pull out every single thing that was in the bathroom cabinet! Little stinker!

The next time I looked out, I saw her actually escaping from the saucer. Hmmm...I don't even know where she gets these mad inmate skills. I definitely can't escape from anywhere unnoticed, as I am pretty much guaranteed to fall on my face. True story.

 

Annabelle is obsessed with shoes. Not in the sense that she likes to admire them from afar, but that she wants to steal every single shoe she sees, and eat them, put them on, or just carry them around. These little gems belong to the little girlie that I nanny. We thought they were pretty darn cute on her!

 

Once again, Annabelle thinks every space she can squeeze herself into was clearly made for her. She has graduated from the bottom shelf, to the shelf she has to climb onto. Before I took the picture, she was throwing a massive fit, because she was stuck and I wouldn't help her out. This might sound like it's a little bit mean, but seriously, this damsel is in distress for about 97.6% of the day!

Last night, as I was making dinner, I glanced over and saw this girl just chillin on top of the table like it was just a spot on the floor. After she hears me say "AY! You, Annabelle, you get down right now! WAIT, let me take a picture first! Okay, now get down! What are you doing, crazy?!"

 

 

 

As much as I would love to say this is all that has happened in the last couple of weeks, this is not the case. Last week, my boss and I experienced our first No-Good, Terrible, Very Bad Day, since the new little man arrived! I'm telling you, nothing went right on this day! We had places to be, but everything was working against us. Two crazy cranky toddlers, crying about seriously EVERYTHING. A very active 4 year old, who just wanted to go to the "MOMS club," and a newborn who was really just overwhelmed! Oh, and lets not forget the sleep deprived adults, who were equally as overwhelmed! Needless, to say, we were a mess. When we finally arrived at our destination (the mall play area), we were all just having a fine and dandy time, until these crazy fools decided it was a good idea to bring Chick-fil-a into the play area. Ummm...hello! There are about 20 vultures in here that are now going to be freaking out because they don't have Chick-fil-a! Thanks for that, Sparky! Next thing we know, we look over and see this child wiping his nasty SNOT RAG (!!!!!!!!!!!) on little man's face! WTH! First of all, who in the world brings their kid to a mall play area with a flippin snot rag? Something is definitely wrong with this day. Second, who the heck sits there watching while their child wipes his said snot rag all over another kids face? GAH! I ran over and snatched up little mister pretty dang fast, and proceeded to clean his face like he had gotten the plague.

 

Next, I see Annabelle working her way up the stairs to go down the slide. Once she had reached the top, instead of sitting down, she apparently felt like walking down the slide was the better idea. So, in a frenzy to save her from her ultimate demise, I leapt over to save her, but instead, I tripped over a fake hedge thingy (That I'm sure wasn't there), and definitely landed ON her. Good job, Mom of the Year. Oh man...what a day. Did I mention it wasn't even 11 AM, yet?

 

So, after the snot and the falling on my child, we decided to bite the bullet and take the kids to Chick-fil-a. While we are sitting at the table eating, these two older ladies come by, and of course ask, "Now, are those two twins?" (They are 6 months apart, and are very clearly not twins) My reply "No, they're 6 months apart, actually!" The older lady then says, "Heh, One of them must have been preemie!" Okay, I am very used to getting judgmental looks from people who think I must just get down and dirty every minute of every day, and some of them even say "Wow, you've been busy!" (I know, right?), but, once people hear that they are 6 months apart, they pretty much get the point that they are obviously not both mine. Who the heck has two biological children 6 months apart? Come on, lady. Anyway, it was pretty funny to hear my boss snap back at the lady "No, one is mine" but I was dying to hear her just let out one big

"DUH, you idiot!" But, you know, with the children around, we wouldn't want to be rude! ;)

 

Once the children were all fed, the day seemed to be much better, and we somehow survived!

 

Though, I'm sure, the judgmental looks from old women, and the crazy hectic, overwhelming days will definitely continue, I look very forward to them! Bring it on!

 

We all know that the bad times, make the good times better! 

 

Letting go

Now that I've exposed my OCD to the world, it probably wouldn't come as any surprise that it takes a lot of effort on my part to let messes be part of my day! My child is determined to make sure that I am absolutely at my wits end every moment of the day, because she is a mess magnet. So, along with being the most clumsy child alive, and eating everything she sees, she also makes sure that she touches, throws, moves, or breaks everything in her path! Here are some picture examples of how my child is trying to kill me....

 "But Mom, I really want to lick off all of the germs that the other kids left!"

 

"Clearly, you need to move these things. This area was made for me."

 

"But Mom, I feel like I could FLYYYY!"

 

"Human Bowling sounds like an interesting sport!"

 

"Look, Mom! I conquered the toy box!"

 

"Isn't this black eye just so stunning? My best accessory yet!"

 

"Were we not supposed to eat the entire bag of donut holes? Oh, my bad..."

 

"This tutu looks fabulous around my neck. Obviously, you've been putting it on the wrong way."

 

"The green beans taste so much better with the plate smashed against my face!"

 

It helps to have these pictures to see the joy that these random acts of toddler behavior bring her. I love seeing how much a triumph like emptying an entire toy box, then climbing on top of it, can make her so incredibly happy. The smile on her face can help melt away a lot of the frustration that comes with the messes. I am finally beginning to be able to let go, and remind myself, that this is how she learns! I don't want to pass on my need for everything to be in its place at all times, so I have to try to play through it, and keep busy!

 

This little tiny being can demolish the house in a matter of minutes, and can push me to my limits like nothing else, but that smile and her laugh melts my heart! If letting go of my uptight, OCD for a few minutes means I get to hear the obnoxious, high-pitched, adorable chuckles come out of her mouth, I guess I can live in the moment, and forget the mess!

 

Afterall, she will fall asleep, and her toys will work their way back where they belong in a few hours. And all will be well (and in proper order) once again.....

 

Until tomorrow. ;)

Kryptonite

We all have that one thing that breaks us, and this week, I discovered mine! My Kryptonite is officially the FLU! Last week, I came down with a nasty virus that just knocked me down! I have never felt so miserable! Ever. So, day after day, I woke up expecting to feel better, but turns out I felt worse everyday! This was the longest, hardest week!

As some may know, I have a pretty moderate case of OCD. Moderate meaning I literally cannot function if something is out of place, the wrong number, or messy! I simply cannot move on to something if another is not complete. This week, if you walked into my house, you probably would have thought I was dying. OH wait, I WAS! I swear, I legitimately believed I was going to cease to exist. The coughing, the pain (everywhere), the sinus pressure, etc. And, I forgot one little thing... I still had to be a Mom and a Nanny!

I somehow managed to make it through work and life everyday, but yesterday, when I was asked "Are you okay, Jean? You seem a little irritable or something," it hit me. I finally cracked. This has never happened. Sure, I've been sick before, but never like this, so having someone notice made me realize this dang flu has officially put a chink in my armor. I've never been noticeably upset outside of my home. I don't like feeling the need to explain to people that I'm not at my best, at all times. However, being told "It's tough being a working mom," makes me feel better.

After finding out that I'm not so good at hiding the flu, I came home to see my house. For the first time all week, I guess my eyes turned on! I noticed there were toys everywhere, papers everywhere, dishes in the sink, laundry on the floor, and the bed not made. While some of these things happen on occasion, I can't say I remember a time when this was all happening in unison. I thought to myself "Wow! So, this is how I can overcome my OCD...I just have to come down with the flu!" Haha, I'll take the OCD.

This morning, I went to a meeting with a fantastic group of women, who I'm lucky enough to call friends! We had a speaker there today, who was talking about yelling in your parenting style. After this week, I felt like this woman was speaking directly to me. Over the weekend, Annabelle, my innocent little 1 year old, had accidentally hurt my foot while I was trying to talk on the phone to my brother, and in a moment of impulse, I yelled at her! The horribly pitiful look on her face, made my heart shatter. I thought to myself, "Did I really need to flip out on her for accidentally hurting me?" Then, I realized, I wasn't actually yelling at her because it hurt (though, it really did), but I was yelling at her because, how dare she interrupt my phone conversation! Looking back, most of the time when I am upset and freaking out, it's because my sweet, growing, hilarious little girl is interrupting me. When did looking at Facebook, or the internet become more important that playing with my own little girl? While trying to hold back the tears this morning, listening to this woman speak, I decided I've got to make a change. No more phone while the baby is awake. It's not worth it. I'm losing my precious time with this child, who is growing faster than I ever imagined. I don't want to look back in a few years, and wonder why I didn't spend more time watching her play in her pretend kitchen, or wonder how I could have possibly missed seeing her do something for the first time. Even worse, I don't want HER to remember me staring at a phone, instead of playing with her, singing songs with her, cuddling, listening to her sweet babble, or just simply watching her!

For instance, this morning, I watched her discover just how much fun a box of tampons is...

Who wouldn't want to enjoy all the crazy moments like this? Afterall, we have LOTS of crazy moments!
So, with all of you readers as my witness, this is my pledge, to put the phone down, and just BE with my family!  And, thank you, Stacy (our speaker), for opening my eyes, and helping me see that I have a problem far worse than OCD, and that it's not too late to change!

Save the Drama for Your Mama!

Drama! This is something I do well, as does my daughter. SO MUCH DRAMA. Every second of every minute of every day.

Lets talk about how I handle drama. I really love watching it on television or in movies, and especially live theater. However, in my home, I definitely do not handle it well. It pushes me over the edge, and I have meltdowns. Big, tragic, my life is ending, and I'm a child meltdowns.

From the beginning, Motherhood has made me an emotional wreck. I've never been much of the crying type. But, I suppose the hormones have gotten the best (and worst) of me. I cry all the time. About everything.

After being released from the NICU, I was so excited to be bring Annabelle home, where we could finally just chill out. I was extra excited to be able to sleep in a bed outside of a hospital room with a view of parking garage, and to wear clothing that didn't reveal my entire backside! Psh, hospital life is the way to go! I'm telling you... 3 meals a day at the touch of a button, people insisting you take naps! Oh my, this is living! Is there really enough time in a day to feed this piranha, change her diaper, pay attention to the dogs, cook AND clean, oh, and there's the husband, too! Cue meltdown!
"Why did we decide to do this? Nobody said it was THIS hard! WAH!"

Day two...We had to take Annabelle to her new pediatrician, which we didn't realize was a super fun 40 minute drive to downtown San Antonio. Such an awesome doctor. We were informed that Annabelle had lost too much weight while a the hospital, and that breastfeeding wasn't enough, so we needed to supplement (which I didn't do. Whoops.). Also, that she was jaundice. So, we had to get her blood drawn. This was pitiful. Her poor hands and feet had already been so bruised from all of the pricks and such at the hospital, but they drew the blood anyway. Later that evening, we got a call saying her bilirubin count was still too high, and we needed to return the next day for more bloodwork. The next day, we made the trip back to the doctor, and they drew her blood yet again. I was very optimistic that her jaundice had cleared. A few hours later, another call from the doctor, to let us know that her count was STILL too high, and we need to return again the next day. Oh man, did I cry! "I made my baby unhealthy! There's nothing we can do, and she's going to hate me forever!" My husband, thank goodness, is always there to offer a very nice eye roll, and a comforting word to help me realize that I'm just being a dramatic, sleep deprived woman. Anyway, after a few more days of traveling back and forth, we finally got her bili count down to acceptable levels, and were able to just enjoy our yellow little munchkin! So so yellow...

 

 

 



I remember, not too long ago. It was my birthday, now that I think of it. My boss had so graciously given me the day off (Isn't she so thoughtful?!). Good thing, too, because Annabelle had one of the worst nights ever. She was up about every 90 minutes or so. When she was up and at em, around 6, as usual, I knew it was going to be a rough day. I had called my husband several times throughout the day to convey to him just how horribly this day was going, and it was about 8 am! He assured me that when he got off work, I would definitely get a nap! Praise the Lord! So, when he called to say he was on his way home, I was ecstatic thinking I was so close to sweet, sweet slumber! He got home, said he was going to change out of his work clothes, and be right out. I got Annabelle's diaper changed, filled her snack cup, and made sure her sippy cup was full! About 5 minutes later, I open the bedroom door, to find him SLEEPING! Ooooooooh man. I lost it. Like, lost it. When I'm upset, I cry and I clean. These are the two things I am tremendous at doing. My Mom got a screaming phone call, my boss got a screaming text, my brother got a phone call, and my husband got a NAP, and a clean house! Not just a short little cat nap, but a very nice, uninterrupted 2 hour nap. Now, let me point out, that my husband works very very long hours, and they are hard hours, and we couldn't be more appreciative of everything he does for us! But, let me also tell you, that when he woke up, I had just put dinner on the table, and he opens the door and says..."Wow! I really needed that nap!" If you could see my face at this moment....

For those wondering if this is my mad face, it really is...I'm not so good at being mad!

Thinking about all the meltdowns I have had in the past 14 months, I've come to realize that they are for the most ridiculous things. Like most women, I let things slide, little by little, then this one little itty bitty tiny thing will push me over the edge and turn me into "She's a MAAAAANIAC!" I've lost it over things such as, having to do the dishes (GASP!), Not being able to sit down for "just one second," or even being able to make dinner without a whining (and clearly starved) baby pulling on my pant leg. When talking with other moms, I'm very happy to find that I am not the only one who goes through these moments of "OH EMM JEAN! Motherhood is so hard! Why do we do this???" I've come to the conclusion that the meltdowns are nice, because they help me realize that it's okay to lose it sometimes. Keeping it together is tough, and always smiling, and always saying "I'm fine," is hard to do. So, I tell myself, and my friends, LET IT OUT! Let your freak flag fly, and believe me, mine is flappin in the wind! I'm the main character in the drama series, entitled "My Everyday Life!"

I love this family that Charles and I have created together, and can't wait to watch it continue to grow. Through every tough meltdown, and every amazing new milestone reached, I can always count on my partner and best friend to be right along my side through it all. And I wouldn't want it any other way!