Orange paint and peppers

Lets talk about children.

First of all, they come out of the womb all precious and tiny. They're helpless, and they cuddle. They smell so great, and the noises they make are so cute, and they really are just perfect. Even the ugly ones are so gosh darn cute, you just want to squeeeeeeeeeeze them! Am I right? I'm right.

NOW, let's talk about what happens to those amazingly perfect, so precious babies. They become..... TODDLERS!! Who doesn't just love a toddler? Me. That's who. I'm telling you, toddlers will be the death of me. Okay, let me rephrase; I don't NOT love toddlers. I just don't like them most of the time. Am I alone in this? I don't think so. I'm going to give a few examples of how crazy the toddlers are that I surround myself with. ALL of these examples are from the last 24 hours of my life.

Example number 1: A toddler asks her mother (not so nicely, might I add) if she would put her hair in a ponytail. This very nice, loving mother says "Yes, of course I will put your hair into a ponytail." After putting her hair into a very cute ponytail, the toddler then proceeds to throw herself on to the floor in a fit of rage, and rips the ponytail out. The toddler also decides that this isn't getting her anywhere, so she is now roooooooolling across the floor, because DUH, this is obviously helping get her point across. After doing this for about 3 minutes, the toddler goes back to her (very patient, calm and collected) mother, and asks her to put her hair in a ponytail!!! WTF toddlers????

Example number 2: A mother is doing the dishes. In a very small kitchen. A toddler decides she will be an excellent helper with the dishes. She decides the dish she wants to help with is a friggin butcher knife (A BUTCHER KNIFE!!!). So, naturally, as any mother who doesn't want to end up in jail, would do...she took it away! Oh my dear sweet Lord above, if you ever want to see a child go ballistic, and make all of your neighbors contemplate a call to 911, by all means, remove a butcher knife from your toddler's hand. I swear, the screams coming from this child could land her a well-paying part on The Hills Have Eyes. Geez, I apologize for saving your life and appendages. WTF toddlers?????

Example number 3: It's dinner time. It's hot. It's late. A certain toddler is handed a plate with a very delicious stuffed pepper on it. That she begged for. The toddler starts screaming, for who knows why. The very loving, concerned, patient mother sits down and calmly asks her, "Oh, my dear sweet, innocent, little angel from above, what is the matter?" (Okay, maybe not JUST like that.) The toddler proceeds to scream, and is now waving a fork, and pointing at the mother's food, which is the SAME thing. Mommy then decides, okay, I will give her MY food. The toddler doesn't want Mommy's food. Mommy now might be just slightly upset. Toddler continues screaming, as mommy takes food off the plate and puts more food on the plate. What the heck do you want, little Devil spawn?? Finally, after way too many attempts to figure out the problem, it was the fork. She was unhappy with her fork selection. FORK. Sigh.... WTF toddlers????

Example number 4: Painting. We are making "H is for Horse." I'm strategically mixing colors together to make the perfect shade of brown, as the brown paint is missing. I find the right color, and get it ready. This toddler decides he needs to have an orange horse. SO, I go get the orange paint, for the orange horse. Once I so nicely retrieve and deliver this paint, I observe this toddler using WAY too much paint. I then decide to put the paint on a super-awesome-orangey plate! Woot woot! Good lord, this was not a good choice. Toddler meltdown. DO NOT take the jar of paint away! So, I decide we will go ahead and put the paint on the plate back into the jar. DO NOT take the plate of paint away! Leave the jar. Leave the plate. Do not touch the brush. Do not suggest using less paint. Just stop. WTF toddlers????

As you can see, sweet little babies turn into not so sweet little PMSing miniature adults. Though they are still adorable, and on occasion, they have a day without mood swings, don't let them fool you for a second! These tiny little people are very intelligent and they know exactly what they're doing!

Last but not least, I will end my ranting by showing a picture montage of my toddler in her good moods! Enjoy your days of toddlerhood, and know that we will all make it through!!

 She's running away, obviously. Toddler life is rough.

 

 The baby needs his own space.

 

 She needed a "pick-me-up."

 

Why can't I just jump in the pool, Mom???

 

 

And now, I leave you with one last question... Seriously, WTF toddlers???

Super Mom?

During my hiatus away from this ever-so-popular blog, there was so much that happened, that there is no way I can possibly begin to put it all onto the screen. Let me start by telling you that the good days have begun to outweigh the bad, which is great, because for quite some time it was the other way around! To help all of us get through the days, I have been staying away from my phone as much as possible, only logging on to Facebook about twice a day, and eating a LOT of cookies. Everything is better with a cookie, right?

I have also been reading up on several other blogs and such. The parenting blogs these days crack me up so bad. I have gone from reading ones like "We do not touch our Vulvas at the Table," to something like "7 Million things your toddler will do to piss you off today." Wait, I think that last one was just a title I'm coming up with....heh. ;)

Today I read a couple of very interesting articles. The first one hit right at home. It was about parents feeling the need to be Super Mom. Let me tell you, I am definitely not super in any way. While I may humbly laugh it off and act like I've got it together, I know the truth! The article goes on to say that parents are under so much pressure to be so involved in every part of their child's day, that they end up withdrawing themselves instead. It said that with social media, we see all of the amazing crafts, and workouts, and gourmet lunches, and projects, etc., that we tend to think that we can't live up to other people. This causes anxiety, and we start stressing over ridiculous things. For instance, I can tell you that I probably tell my husband at least twice a week that I am a terrible mother, and shouldn't have been allowed to be a parent. I lose my patience, I cry all the time, I leave the dishes in the sink sometimes, and sometimes I have to re-wash a load of laundry because I forgot it was in the washer. But you know what? So do other people. We feel anxious that we aren't doing all of the amazing things some people do, but, we also don't know what their lives are like OFFLINE. Online, I have a smiley little 20 month old, who is just the sweetest thing. My online self is a LIAR. This is not my child. She does not smile for the camera EVER, and is probably screaming in the picture that looks like a smile! She also has several tantrums a day and is like a rabid hyena hyped up on 17 Redbulls. Anyway, to get to my point, this article is basically telling us to just step back for a minute and realize that things are okay, and everyone has problems, and toddlers throwing fits over the most irrational things imaginable.

The next article I happened to read today, was about a dad. He said the doctors were concerned that his breastfed child was not getting enough to eat, and needed formula to help him gain. After talking it over with his wife, who was refusing to give in, he decided to come to the child's daycare everyday, and feed him a 4 oz bottle of formula. As a breastfeeding mother, I was also told to supplement for my baby, who was early and underweight. I also chose to disregard the suggestion and only breastfed. I understand the mother's reluctance, and I also understand the father's reasoning. HOWEVER, I also have to say, that if my husband was generally concerned about the well being of my child, I would hope that he respected me enough to tell me how he was feeling, as opposed to going behind my back to give our child something that we hadn't agreed upon. I'm not one to openly discuss controversial topics, but how does this sit with other parents out there?

Back to life as we know it. I recently celebrated my 2 year Nanny-versary! YAY me! Looking back over those two years, all I can think about is, holy cow time sure goes by fast! When I started this fantastic journey into Nannyhood, I was a mere 14 weeks pregnant, and was taking care of a 2 1/2 year old, and newborn. Now, just 2 short years later, I take care of 4!! My how things have changed! Lets see what has changed....

I am ready to go to bed, before I wake up for the day.

I base my days on how many kids are grumpy

My husband and I discuss poop and sleep schedules more than we discuss the news

I count the minutes until nap time and bed time

I hear Heavenly Angels sing every time I lay the baby down to sleep

Breastfeeding has given me a hunch back

And terrible boobs

And a whole new outlook on built-in bras

I have made the most amazing friends in my MOMS Club (Seriously, you know who you are)

I judge how important errands are, by how many kids I have to buckle in!

We base our Costco trips on what time the samples are out!

And last but certainly not least...

I feel more love and happiness from these children, than I ever knew was possible!

Children definitely have a way of dancing on your nerves. Seriously, they love to dance. But, even though sometimes I really don't like my child very much (I'm not ashamed to admit it), she is the only person who can make me smile no matter how I'm feeling. My boss and I always say that God made kids cute, because he knew that was the only way they could survive! Thank goodness for the cuteness, because otherwise, you would be seeing me on an episode of Snapped! ;)

So, I will now end my rambling! And, in true MommyNanny Jean fashion, I will end this blog with a spectacular photo montage of random moments from my (seemingly) well put-together life!! Enjoy!

 We took a family vacation to Florida, and Annabelle loved the beach

 The tiger was probably more terrified...

 Is there a better place to nurse??

 Like I said, Heavenly Angels sing when the baby goes to sleep!

 Love this girl!

 The reason I do what I do!

 Uncle Jac came to visit us for 2 weeks!! Annabelle adores him!

 She's crazy

 My Nanny-versary photo!

 They love the water!

 Singing the "Let's go Pee Pee" song...

 Surprise Birthday present, for the most deserving boss!

 Her baby had to nurse, too.

 

 Playground fun!

Her current favorite thing in the world, ICE!

 

Thanks for reading! Enjoy your back to school days!

You Are Enough

Hello! Yes, for those who are wondering, I am still alive! It has been over a month since I last updated the world on the craziness that is my life! I will try my absolute hardest to try and summarize everything that has happened in the past weeks, but I can't promise I won't leave out something or bore you to death with my rambling!

A funny thing happens when more children join the group you have...you really do begin forgetting yourself! I am so busy trying to please so many people, that I often times don't realize that I go entire days without eating, or drinking a cup of water! I remember thinking that some days were secretly 40 hours long, and would never end, but now it's 7 am one minute, and bed time the next! Don't get me wrong- a lot of days still feel like they're 40 hours long, but it's a busy 40 hours! Diapers, bottles, lunch, more diapers, more bottles, dinner! It's an endless cycle, and it's a tedious cycle! But, I have to remind myself, that someday they wont need me as much! I am helping to shape the lives of 4 little independent people!

Since it's been so long, I think an overload of pictures are necessary to help me remember how much happens in a day!

 The toddlers have been really into helping lately! They were bringing in the laundry, and putting it in the hamper, laughing hysterically, saying "There."  

 Jacob is telling Annabelle "Let's jump, it's fun!" I say it's not so fun.

 They're domesticated already. Helping each other with the struggle of household maintenance.

 One day, I went to use the restroom, and when I came out I heard Jacob say "Uh oh, Nanny..." Come around the corner to see Annabelle sitting on the table drinking from my cup, and Jacob rummaging through my bag looking for some hidden treasure. Vultures!

 Like I said, they really like the help each other...

 Annabelle is honing in on her Superpower. I'm thinking it has something to do with magically making food appear in front of her!

 She really loves climbing. On everything. The other day, she climbed up the oven. THE OVEN!

 "If this 'Easter Bunny' is so great, why did you get 3 packs of chocolate, and I got paint?"

 

We have A LOT of tantrums. Jacob and Annabelle are the definition of toddler. And Justin can't handle the stress that comes with being Super. Poor kid.

"I really thought the banana bread was for me and the dog!"

 Their latest activity is to throw all of the toys off of the shelf, and walk around on top of it. I have no idea...

 It might look like she's happy, but she was actually pretty angry that I put her hand in the paint.

 Jacob likes to play the game where one of them pulls the other around. It's cute!

 Apparently he thought it was his turn.

 They have to have everything the other has!

 

 We had a park playdate and toddler time at the library the other day, and it was so much fun! The kids love getting out of the house, and I do too!

 They love filling the pitchers and dumping them on each other!

 Monkeys!

This past month has been crazy busy, as you can see. With Mother's Day approaching, I've been thinking about my short time as a mom, so far. What a journey, really. Though I only have one biological child, the children that I nanny are definitely loved like my own! Annabelle loves being around them, and is often bored on the days that we aren't with them. I love that Annabelle is growing up with older kiddos to look up to. She chases Julianna around all day, and Julianna often calls her "little sister!" How sweet is that? Jacob gets annoyed with her, just as any older child does with the young ones! And Annabelle is obsessed with Baby Justin. She wants to help with everything. She brings over burp cloths, cream, diapers, bottles, etc... But it's usually at times when her help isn't needed or appreciated.

Getting frustrated is something that comes easily with toddlers, as they are so curious, and just want to do everything. They are so loud, and needy, that patience goes quickly. I have found myself having to take a lot more "deep breaths" lately, as I try to tread the waters! The fighting, crying, screaming, hitting, and climbing are exhausting! I have forks thrown at me, which is actually pretty funny, but instead of laughing I have to be stern and make sure they know behavior like that isn't okay. I was just telling my husband the other day, that Annabelle worships him, because he doesn't have to be the bad guy. I have to tell her no all day long, and by the time we get home, she's ready to play with Daddy, who hasn't been lecturing her and telling her no all day. The first time I really noticed this happened not too long ago. She had fallen, and I went to comfort her, but instead of cuddling up to me, she wanted down so she could go to him instead. What a heartbreaking moment! As mother's we always want to be the one who is there to help our babies when they are hurting, so to see them want someone else is a shock to the system!

Speaking of injuries, we have had quite a few this month! Myself included! One night, Annabelle decided to go potty, so she sat down on her little toilet. A few minutes later, she got up, and peed all over the floor, and was so proud of herself, she was clapping! I wiped it up, and gave her a bath. While walking out of the bathroom, I hit the spot where the pee was, slipped, and slammed into the doorframe! Oh man, Annabelle went flying into her activity table and gave me a look that said, "What the hell, mom?" I yelled for help repeatedly from my husband, who was two rooms away and "didn't hear me..." Sure, he was probably in here busting a gut, because I'm pretty sure seeing a 6 ft tall woman flying through the air and landing on her backside is hilarious. I would've laughed, too, if I hadn't been dying on the floor. Anyway, my diagnosis that I gave myself, was a concussion (I've had a few), a bruised ear, neck, shoulder, wrist, hip and ankle! Obviously, Annabelle is trying to take my life by peeing on the floor.

Children are hilarious, and will say and do anything they want to, at anytime they please. A few weeks ago, Julianna was asking us how old we all are. I replied to her that I was 27, and my husband is 42. She told me "Whoa, Jean. You and Charles totally have an age gap!" HA! I don't know where she learns these things, but that had my boss and I cracking up so bad!

It is so easy to get so upset with these little ones, who I'm positive plot against me in a secret language, but it melts away so quickly when they flash their big smiles, and say "I love you." Or when they say something so funny, that you forgot the reason you were upset anyway!

I watched a video today, that summed up most Moms' insecurities, and sent the message that, through it all we are enough, and are loved! So, in honor of Mother's Day, I'll share some pictures that are sure to cheer up anyone who is having a rough time getting through their day! If these don't help you smile, just remember "This too shall pass," and put "Jesus Take the Wheel" on repeat! These are necessities in our home! ;)

 

Happy Mother's Day!!