It's been three weeks here now in Singapore, and we are doing our best to settle in to our new normal. I knew this was going to be a challenging adjustment for our family, but I have to admit, its been a lot harder than I imagined. From the lack of transportation, to being a stay at home mom, to being an expat, its an everyday challenge, and I'm struggling.
I don't usually give in to feeling like I've lost control, but right now I feel like I don't control anything. My daughter has been having tantrums worse than ever before. To put it in perspective, imagine losing your friends you've spent every day of your life with. Now, add to that losing your home. Now your city. Then country. Now you're surrounded by an entirely different set of people, a completely different culture, different climate, different time zone, no car, and you're stuck with your grumpy mom all day, every single day. Oh, and you're 2 years old. My toddler is having to deal with all of these things that I myself am having trouble adjusting to. In the midst of her having tantrums about everything possible, we also have to figure out a way to get out of the house, and do something fun.
Her and I are trying so hard to get into a sense of normalcy, but we can't even seem to sleep! It is not uncommon for her to sit in her bed singing herself to sleep for 2 hours, before she can finally close her eyes to rest. And I'm the same way, without the singing! I find myself struggling to get to bed before midnight, and can't even muster up the energy to drag myself out of bed at 8 in the morning. I really thought that we would have a much easier time getting the time difference down!
When we finally roll out of bed, we experience our first tantrum right away, as Annabelle's breakfast choices here aren't what she's used to. We will spend an hour or so attempting to FaceTime with some family members, as this is our only chance to speak with people in the States. We will experience our next tantrum when Annabelle isn't the one to push the end button. Once we are finally ready to embark on the day, it's already nasty outside, and at least a mile walk to where ever we decide to go. By the time we get anywhere, Annabelle is exhausted and wants to go home to night night,
I feel so bad, and sometimes so helpless. I certainly don't want pity, but sometimes I just need an understanding ear.
Being a SAHM is new to me. I've been with Annabelle all day every day since she was born, but it was different being a Nanny, because I had to be places at a certain time. and we always had other people around! As a SAHM, I'm now responsible for just my family. By the time my husband gets home, I'm grumpy and exhausted, and at my wits end with my toddler. He sees me losing my temper over little things, but doesn't realize that's the 15th time I've told her to get out of the freezer today, or the 200th time I've told her no, or the 10th time shes dumped yogurt on the floor. I've also done 3 loads of laundry, a million dishes, swept and mopped, walked 2 miles to get the mail, taken her to the sand filled park, and tried to force food into her all day. It's a challenging day.
Now, don't get me wrong, there are definite plus sides to this new SAHM experience. For instance, I get to be with my child all day instead of paying someone else to take care of her, and worrying all day long if I made the right choice. Working moms have it hard, too.
Also, I've found I'm a pretty great baker. The other day I didn't feel like walking 2 miles to the store to get tortillas, so I just made my own, and they were effing fantastic! I've also made a few loaves of bread. Annabelle and I made our own homemade pizzas last night, and they turned out pretty damn good, too. I've also made the cinnamon rolls that we absolutely love, but rarely had the time available before! We also live in a gorgeous house, in a gorgeous country we never could have dreamed of being in!
So, as I try not to lose hope, and keep my head up, I am steadfast in my faith that things have to improve, and soon I will forget that it was ever this hard, my toddler will be happy with her new group of friends, and we will be part of a tight community that we will be so sad to leave one day. For these things, I am unbelievably thankful for!
Friday, August 14, 2015
Monday, August 3, 2015
Unprepared Tourists
Our second weekend here in Singapore is in the books! This country is so packed full of things to do. This weekend we decided to take a walk from our neighborhood down to the Sembawang Straits. It's the strait that separates Singapore from Malaysia. While it's not quite the soft white sandy beaches we got used to in Florida, it was still nice, and so exciting to think that this is home for the next few years. It was quite a trek with the 2 year old, as it was around 2 miles each way, but so worth the walk. Once we arrived, we were surprised to see that the park itself was just gorgeous. Huge trees all over, and an awesome playground for the kids, that looked like a shipwreck. It was so neat, and a challenging playscape that kept Annabelle working for quite some time! After watching the sunset, it was time to call it a day! We made our way back home, which was endless amounts of fun because our toddler was screaming in protest for almost the entire 2 mile walk!
On Sunday, we decided to try out the Zoo! We have heard from countless people that this Zoo is definitely on the top of the list of things to see. But, as usual, getting there was our most adventurous part! We had to walk through our neighborhood, to the train, then hop on a bus, which would take us the rest of the way to the Zoo. Easy enough, right? Not for us! The walk to the train, and the train ride itself was fine, but when it comes to disaster, our bus trip was one! First, when we were getting on the bus, we didn't realize we should have folded up our stroller before getting on. So, we tried to fold it up, and not realizing we had a basketful of stuff, this took a minute. So, there we are holding up all of these people crammed on this bus on the middle of a Sunday. When we finally got the stroller folded up, we realized we had no idea where our rogue toddler had gone. Whoops! So, we get on the bus to see that she has made herself comfortable right next to a man who looked like he could be angry enough to break something. During the drive on the bus, which was quite rough. Picture me, a tall, large woman standing in the middle of a bus packed with 50 other people, and a stroller, trying to control a toddler that is 5 feet away sitting next to an angry man. In between telling Annabelle to "Stop kicking him," "you're bothering him," "Don't stand up on the seat," "Don't push that stop button," "Put your legs together, we can see your underwear," I realized, I'm also simultaneously whacking this poor teenager in the head with the wheels from my stroller. Oh, and lets not forget the time that Annabelle decided to start twerking on the pole, and made everyone laugh. Holy cow. When it comes to unprepared tourists, we definitely fit the mold! Anyway, we eventually made it to the Zoo, and I was so happy to get off that bus, but still made sure to make it clear that we were "NEVER RIDING THAT F*CKING BUS AGAIN!"
Now that we were at the Zoo, we noticed a line that was so long, I figured we would be stuck for at least an hour before we even got in, and Annabelle was really in a mood. But, to our surprise a nice older woman came over to tell us about the Priority Queue line that is made for people like us who can't control their toddlers! And, we were able to skip the hour long line, and get tickets in 2 minutes! And so we were in! Right from the start, this Zoo was pretty cool. The first exhibit was an open monkey exhibit, and they were close enough to touch! Annabelle was in Heaven, and we saw some great things! Her favorite was probably the Koalas, and she has still been talking about them ever since we left! Once Annabelle started stripping off her shoes and socks, we knew it was time to go, so we made our way to the Taxi line. In true American tourist fashion, we even made getting into a Taxi look difficult. When it was time to fold up the infamous stroller, I grabbed our bag out of the basket and realized that our can of sunscreen had exploded all over everything. EVERYTHING. Thick, white Zinc Oxide sunscreen. Even all over my brand new camera. UGH! Meanwhile, Annabelle is walking around in the Taxi, rolling the windows up and down, opening the doors, and screaming "MAMA" over and over again. When we finally got loaded up and into the backseat, the driver asked where we want to go, and we didn't even know! Ha! So, we told him to drop us off at the mall that was by the train station so we could grab a quick lunch and hop on the train to get home.
Once we arrived at the mall, and decided to eat at Texas (Church's) Chicken, we ordered, and noticed there wasn't one table available. So,we stood there watching like hawks for a table to open, as our child is screaming "EAT" at everyone who will notice. When we finally got a table, I parked our sunscreen filled stroller outside, and got us all seated. I handed out everyone's food, and Annabelle began to throw a tantrum because I wouldn't let her have the entire bowl of chicken strips, that was actually my lunch. So, once again, all eyes were on us as we try to calm down our child and remain calm. Holding back the tears as best I could, I yanked her bottom out of her seat, took her to the middle of the mall, and gave her my "Mom speech." It is so hard to stay calm when all day, everyday, you listen to the same random tantrums over and over and over again. It's even harder when you're in public, in a foreign country, surrounded by people who aren't parents! After eating, we were finally on the train, and on our way home.
Once off the train, we were walking down the sidewalk, when I hear Annabelle laughing about something. This is not usually a good sign. I look down to see that she had helped herself to our exploded sunscreen mess, and had managed to wipe it all over herself! She had SO MUCH sunscreen on, it was hilarious. It looked like war paint. She had stripes up and down her legs, and finger marks on her cheeks, and her hands were completely white. But, at least she wasn't screaming! So, for our mile walk home, she continued to reach into her sunscreen stash, and wipe it on herself, and then we were home! NAP TIME!
So, in closing, I'll just say this.... If our weekends continue on this way, we may be well known on this island! ;)
On Sunday, we decided to try out the Zoo! We have heard from countless people that this Zoo is definitely on the top of the list of things to see. But, as usual, getting there was our most adventurous part! We had to walk through our neighborhood, to the train, then hop on a bus, which would take us the rest of the way to the Zoo. Easy enough, right? Not for us! The walk to the train, and the train ride itself was fine, but when it comes to disaster, our bus trip was one! First, when we were getting on the bus, we didn't realize we should have folded up our stroller before getting on. So, we tried to fold it up, and not realizing we had a basketful of stuff, this took a minute. So, there we are holding up all of these people crammed on this bus on the middle of a Sunday. When we finally got the stroller folded up, we realized we had no idea where our rogue toddler had gone. Whoops! So, we get on the bus to see that she has made herself comfortable right next to a man who looked like he could be angry enough to break something. During the drive on the bus, which was quite rough. Picture me, a tall, large woman standing in the middle of a bus packed with 50 other people, and a stroller, trying to control a toddler that is 5 feet away sitting next to an angry man. In between telling Annabelle to "Stop kicking him," "you're bothering him," "Don't stand up on the seat," "Don't push that stop button," "Put your legs together, we can see your underwear," I realized, I'm also simultaneously whacking this poor teenager in the head with the wheels from my stroller. Oh, and lets not forget the time that Annabelle decided to start twerking on the pole, and made everyone laugh. Holy cow. When it comes to unprepared tourists, we definitely fit the mold! Anyway, we eventually made it to the Zoo, and I was so happy to get off that bus, but still made sure to make it clear that we were "NEVER RIDING THAT F*CKING BUS AGAIN!"
Now that we were at the Zoo, we noticed a line that was so long, I figured we would be stuck for at least an hour before we even got in, and Annabelle was really in a mood. But, to our surprise a nice older woman came over to tell us about the Priority Queue line that is made for people like us who can't control their toddlers! And, we were able to skip the hour long line, and get tickets in 2 minutes! And so we were in! Right from the start, this Zoo was pretty cool. The first exhibit was an open monkey exhibit, and they were close enough to touch! Annabelle was in Heaven, and we saw some great things! Her favorite was probably the Koalas, and she has still been talking about them ever since we left! Once Annabelle started stripping off her shoes and socks, we knew it was time to go, so we made our way to the Taxi line. In true American tourist fashion, we even made getting into a Taxi look difficult. When it was time to fold up the infamous stroller, I grabbed our bag out of the basket and realized that our can of sunscreen had exploded all over everything. EVERYTHING. Thick, white Zinc Oxide sunscreen. Even all over my brand new camera. UGH! Meanwhile, Annabelle is walking around in the Taxi, rolling the windows up and down, opening the doors, and screaming "MAMA" over and over again. When we finally got loaded up and into the backseat, the driver asked where we want to go, and we didn't even know! Ha! So, we told him to drop us off at the mall that was by the train station so we could grab a quick lunch and hop on the train to get home.
Once we arrived at the mall, and decided to eat at Texas (Church's) Chicken, we ordered, and noticed there wasn't one table available. So,we stood there watching like hawks for a table to open, as our child is screaming "EAT" at everyone who will notice. When we finally got a table, I parked our sunscreen filled stroller outside, and got us all seated. I handed out everyone's food, and Annabelle began to throw a tantrum because I wouldn't let her have the entire bowl of chicken strips, that was actually my lunch. So, once again, all eyes were on us as we try to calm down our child and remain calm. Holding back the tears as best I could, I yanked her bottom out of her seat, took her to the middle of the mall, and gave her my "Mom speech." It is so hard to stay calm when all day, everyday, you listen to the same random tantrums over and over and over again. It's even harder when you're in public, in a foreign country, surrounded by people who aren't parents! After eating, we were finally on the train, and on our way home.
Once off the train, we were walking down the sidewalk, when I hear Annabelle laughing about something. This is not usually a good sign. I look down to see that she had helped herself to our exploded sunscreen mess, and had managed to wipe it all over herself! She had SO MUCH sunscreen on, it was hilarious. It looked like war paint. She had stripes up and down her legs, and finger marks on her cheeks, and her hands were completely white. But, at least she wasn't screaming! So, for our mile walk home, she continued to reach into her sunscreen stash, and wipe it on herself, and then we were home! NAP TIME!
So, in closing, I'll just say this.... If our weekends continue on this way, we may be well known on this island! ;)
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