Today is mine and Annabelle's 6 month mark for being in Singapore! In some ways, it's hard to believe that we have called this home for 6 months, and in some ways it's hard to believe that it has ONLY been 6 months!
I feel like we have already experienced so much of what Singapore has to offer, yet I know that we have merely scratched the surface!
Since moving here, we have experienced quite our fair share of ups and downs, and I finally feel like I am in a place where I can get back to writing about our life!
When I found out that I would have the opportunity to be a SAHM here, I was so overjoyed! For years, I wanted to be a Mom, and stay at home to take care of my baby. I thought SAHMs lived the good life, and always had clean houses, and ample patience and time to spend with their precious children. Little did I know, this was not the case at all. Staying home with my child was nice in many ways, but I also felt like I was slipping into an abyss. I felt like I was becoming consumed with anger, and sometimes even resentment toward my own flesh. Some days, I even wished that I never became a Mom, because I couldn't handle the constant need to be everything for her, and only her. Most days, I felt like I was falling into depression, and I knew this just wasn't who I was.
So, I decided to make a change! I decided to go back to work, and let my daughter go to daycare, so she can be surrounded by other children, and adults who dedicate their time to taking care of children when they're away from their families. The ironic part is that my chosen career is also to care for other people's kids. But, I suppose it is true- everything is different when it's your own kid!
Why is it that I have infinite patience with other children, but none with my own?
I don't know the science of it, but I do know it to be true for me, at least. And I know that my sweet girl is getting the attention, support and socializing that she needs, while I'm getting the fulfillment I need, and having the chance to say "Wow, I really miss her!"
It's only just over a week now since we made the change, and I already see a big difference in how our time together is spent! We laugh together, instead of crying. We hug more, instead of closing doors. We have conversations about our days, instead of hurrying through our meals in silence.
What a difference!
I can't wait to see what else this adventure will bring us, and I look forward to having happier days!!
