So, looking back at my last post I've discovered that not a ton has changed, but at the same time...SO much has changed! We have celebrated birthdays, and have had so many milestones since then! So, let's start, shall we?
First things first, toddlers still suck SO BAD. It has been determined that toddlers are, in fact, tiny assholes. I said it. ASSHOLES. They hate us. Just thought I'd let you know the truth. Every second of every minute of every single day is dictated by what my boss calls a "tyrant." At first, I admit I thought that word may be an exaggeration, but after careful review I've discovered that it's true. We get screamed at all day in words that don't even have meaning. We get told "I don't wanna talk to you" or "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NANANANANAN UGHGUGHGUGH." I mean, come on...at least use words if you're going to yell at me for giving you the banana you cried for!
Also- what's up with the poop? How is it that you can go weeks without a pee accident, but cannot seem to fathom the thought of pooping in the toilet? You would rather go in your diaper, underwear, or right NEXT to the toilet, but heaven forbid you sit on the toilet? Come ON! You know what they do? They go once to get your hopes up, then they shatter your hopes when you find the poop smeared on the crib, or all over their bodies, or all over the carpet. Good times, these toddlers.
Have there been good moments over the past 6 months? Sure there have! But, I must say, they are few and far between! Hearing children say "I love you" may be the best part of every day. These little people who put so much stress on us daily, and drive us to eat our weight in chocolate, can be the sweetest little demons in the world. Sometimes, when they're sleeping, I sit there staring. Just stare, take in all of their little features...the little dimples where the knuckles will be soon, the wispy curly hair that glows in the dark because it is so blonde, the little tiny nose that is still somehow almost completely flat, the perfect little lips that give the sweetest kisses on the cheek. How precious are they still? And when did they become little kids instead of babies? I get so lost in the stressful moments of the day, that sometimes I forget how fast it's actually going. Time is flying by, and I'm too busy to notice!
My sweet baby girl was recently diagnosed with some delays. She has a 35% delay in Speech, Cognitive, and Social areas. Although this was an expected diagnosis, it was a tough one to hear. I've always thought that my experience with children would be so helpful in my parenting. I assumed that my child would be so intelligent, and have such great patience, and be invincible. But, I'm discovering that these things will come. Why does my 2 year old have to be superior? She's 2! What does she need? Happiness. Love. Care. Nurturing. Sure, speech is important, but we have help for that. Patience isn't something any toddler has. And, she thinks she's invincible. So, I'm learning to back off a little. I will never be the perfect mom. Ever. And I'm okay with that. As long as I remember that I'm the perfect mom for HER.
You know what else I've discovered? Sometimes my house is messy. But, sometimes it's better for me to just sit on my butt in front of the TV, crying to an episode of Grey's Anatomy, and eating 6 pounds of chocolate, while forgetting everything about the day! Hey, I work out! ;) It's also okay for me to ask for help. Annabelle recently decided she doesn't need to breastfeed anymore. The first night, I will admit, I was pretty sad. But, since then, it's been nice. It's great to be able to ask my husband for help putting her to bed. And it's great to not have to plan my evenings around a breastfeeding toddler. Especially since every other part of my days revolve around her and 3 others!
What a rollercoaster of emotions life is. Caring for toddlers has got to be the most draining phase of life so far. I can hear the screaming when I go to bed. Silence is too quiet. I can translate toddler language faster than I can spell an English word. And I can spot a disaster about to happen with cat-like reflexes. It takes a strong person to be with children all day. You have to learn to not take them seriously. They're going to hate you about 60% of the time, and adore you the other 40. And honestly, you'll feel the same. They ignore everything you say to them, but demand to be heard every time they speak. They don't want you to help with anything, but get so mad that they can't do it themselves. They hit, kick, bite, spit, throw things, throw themselves, and demolish everything in their paths. Yet, we get up everyday and show them our love! Why? Because we go through these emotions, too. We get it. We understand. But, do they have to make it so hard? This too shall pass! And until then, Jesus take the wheel!
So, before I leave with my spectacular picture montage, I will remind you once again, to not lose hope. Things will get better. But, until they do, just remember... Toddlers are assholes. That is all.
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