Motherhood Woes

The last couple of weeks have been rough. Like, ROUGH! Do you ever have moments in Motherhood where you've reached the point breaking and said "Okay, this is when I realize I have entered eternal damnation, and should give up on ever finding happiness..."? Well, let me tell ya, you are NOT alone, sista! I am in Hades. It's officially official.

The other night, after getting home from work, I was bathing my own little spawn to get her ready for bed, and it was time to brush her teeth. I'm sorry, I should actually call this part of the routine "When the neighbors wonder if they need to call the police," because my child literally screams like her life is ending. EVERY SINGLE TIME. When she brushes her own teeth, it's perfectly fine. But, the second my finger touches the toothbrush and I tell her it's my turn to brush, it's like all of her bones break, and she collapses to the floor. She then locks her jaw shut like she's a dog holding on to a coveted piece of 3 day old chicken they found under the oven. So, when I finally pry the jaw open enough to jab the toothbrush in, I realize all of the toothpaste has been smeared across my shirt. What the fudgesicle. By the time I get the new toothpaste on the brush, her naked little behind has scurried out of the bathroom, and into the living room where I obviously can't see her 'hiding' right in the middle of the couch. So, I scoop her up over my arm, trying with all my might not to flip the crap out, and set her on the counter and tell her to open her mouth RIGHT THIS SECOND so I can brush her teeth or they WILL fall out. She's crying, which is perfect because the mouth has to be open to cry! So, I hurry up and brush brush brush brush, silently singing "Brush-a, brush-a, brush-a" just like Jan in Grease, because come on... Anyway, just as I'm about halfway done, she decides she needed to slap me across the face. HOLY CRAP, I lost it.

I mean, I chucked that super rockin awesome light-up toothbrush so hard across the bathroom, that the bottom broke off, and there was toothpaste splattered everywhere. And then I screamed "I'M DONE BEING A MOM!!" Now enters husband...

H- "What's wrong?"
Me-"WAAAAAAAAHHH"
H- "Ummm...what happened?"
Me- "WAAAAAAAHHH", slam the door, run to the bathroom. Obviously it's the only place in the world to run when one needs a minute.
H- "So...what's going on?"
Me- Through the tears and sobbing.. "She's (sniff sniff, schnortle) so MEAN!"

Even I laughed at that moment. When did my daughter take me back to middle school? I can remember sitting in my room crying when other girls were mean in school, and it was the exact same thing.

After I took a minute rocking myself back to calm in the corner of the bathroom, I went back into her room, and she said "SHAW" which translates to sorry in her toddler language, and gave me a hug. Even though I was still so angry about all of it, I snuggled her, read her a story, and rocked her for a few minutes before putting her to bed. Then you leave the room, and have a huge sigh of relief, and dance a little jig to celebrate the fact that you survived another day of Motherhood.

High five, we did it!