It's been quite some time since my last post! So much has happened since then, of course the biggest thing being that I became a Mom again! We welcomed our sweet little girl Ainsley Everett on 8 May!!
While my pregnancies are not easy-both with severe preeclampsia that has landed me on bedrest both times- my deliveries are generally about as easy as they get, I think! Ainsley came into the world quickly without any problems and we are so overjoyed!
While we knew what Ainsley's first name would be for quite some time, we were really stumped on her middle name. Just a few weeks before she was born, my dear sweet Grandpa sadly passed away, and it didn't take us long to realize that his name would be the perfect name for the new life we were bringing into the world. Since I was far too pregnant to fly 27 hours around the world to say goodbye and be there for my family, I decided to pay homage in a new way, and that was by giving my baby girl the name of a man so dearly loved by so many.
So, what's life like now with 2 kiddos? It's BUSY! When I was tired with one, I would sleep. But, when I'm tired with two? Tough! Push through! You have to get sleep when you can, which essentially means I literally pass out if I lay down. When I needed to get stuff done with one, I would wait until she napped. When I have to get stuff done with two? TOUGH! It's not getting done!
Getting around Singapore became quite tricky between figuring out buses, trains and taxis with two kids, a stroller, backpacks, water bottles, and a million other things. It was time consuming, stressful and costly, so we decided to bite the bullet and get a car! It was a great decision, and really made life here so much easier.
We have had some visitors this year since having Ainsley. My brother, Jac came from Omaha for about a month, and since this was his second time in Singapore, we decided to take him on a trip to Thailand together. I said trip rather than vacation, because LETS BE HONEST... there is no vacationing when children are involved. Ainsley was only 7 weeks on this trip, so I would estimate that i spent about 95 percent of our trip breastfeeding. Otherwise, we spent time sight-seeing and going to the beach. It was a great trip in all, and we so excited to share such a cool experience with my brother.
Our next visitors came in August to save us while we were in a childcare pickle. Our Nanny had to go home for a few weeks, so my Mom and my Aunt Lisa swooped in and watched our girls so I wouldn't have to miss more work after maternity leave. They were able to do a bit of exploring while they were here, in spite of being bogged down by a baby and preschooler! We are still so unbelievably thankful for them coming, and so lucky to have such willing and loving family!
Finally, our last visitor of the year was my Mother-in-Law, Margie! Margie has been to Singapore before, so we decided to throw in a trip while she was here too. We went to Bali, Indonesia with her. We took her to Bali because it's known for it's beaches, and since Margie loves beaches, where better to go?? Well, let me tell you, the beaches in Bali are NOT nice! However, there are a lot of other cool things in and around Bali. We ended up seeing great things, like rice terraces, temples and monkeys! What a cool place!
After Margie left, it was time for Annabelle's most anticipated visitor- Santa Claus! This is our third year setting up Christmas here in Singapore. Our first year with two kiddos having presents under the tree, however. Annabelle struggled with the realization that ALL of the presents under the tree weren't hers. She said "Ainsley only wants to eat the paper. She's just a baby. She doesn't get presents." Ah, the rationale of children.
Anyway, that sums up the big occurrences throughout the year, but what about the little things? The things that people leave out because they're too real to share? Things like the Post Partum Depression that caught me completely off guard? Let's talk about that. I started to realize not too long after having Ainsley, that some days, I just didn't feel right. I was in a funk that I just could not snap out of. I lost all control of my emotions. Some times, it felt like I was trying SO hard to enjoy a moment, or be silly, or laugh, but I just couldn't. I was so angry for no reason. Little things that the kids would do would make me laugh hysterically one day, then be angry and yelling the next day. It made no sense. Then, I realized I'm one of the many mothers who unfortunately have PPD. I always thought "how can someone be depressed just from having a baby?" Then I realized, the depression doesn't mean I'm sad, it means for some reason my hormones and brain have decided to take over my body and make me feel things I didn't necessarily feel. What a realization. I wasn't sad that I had a baby, or that I was losing sleep, or that my child was simply doing gymnastics on the ottoman. I was unbalanced. I saw my doctor, and talked it through with him. It's common, he says. It's always nice to hear you're not alone. They thanked me for coming in. This has been the absolute hardest adjustment for me since having another baby. My usual joyful and jubilant personality now has days of uncontrolled anger and sadness, and sometimes that results in my preschooler saying things like "I really want a happy mommy."
What about the other little things that come with a new baby? Like forgetting that their poo literally shoots out all over the place. You know? In your hair, all over your shirt, your new couch? Yep, that happens. A LOT! Be prepared, people. The poo struggle is real.
What about the regression from the older sibling? Annabelle was essentially a potty training prodigy. She decided to start using the toilet when she was just over a year old. Since then, she's been an expert. Apparently, that ends when another kiddo comes along. Our little girl went from prodigy to amateur overnight! She has had so many accidents since the baby, that I think I've washed more clothes from pee than diapers from when she was an infant. Its like she purposely just lets the river flow!! WHEN WILL THIS END???
What about the non-stop breastfeeding? How did I forget how much of my day revolved around breastfeeding? This time around, I decided that I was going to take photos showcasing what it's like to be a breastfeeding mother while also having to entertain a very active preschooler. I took photos at places that we visited throughout the year, and decided I would call these photos "Sitting on the Sidelines." I do enjoy breastfeeding. It's convenient, and always available. But it does come with a cost. It doesn't keep the baby full for long, and it eliminates the opportunity for others to help feed, unless you're willing to pump all the time. Never the less, my baby is happy and healthy, so I can't complain too much!
There's also the little things like the sweet noises that tiny tiny baby makes when she nuzzles into your neck or chest. Or the sweet smell of their breath. Or the perfect little button nose. These tiny perfections make us look past the big imperfections. Then, BOOM, one day, those tiny perfections are gone. They grow too quickly. I didn't savor each moment this time like I promised myself I would. She's only 8 months old and those newborn things are gone. But now she has that giggle. Those big literally sparkling blue eyes, her perfect mullet that Billy Rae Cyrus would have paid big bucks for, those cheeks that are so big they pull the sides of her lips down! AGH, I just want to gobble her up!
These are the moments, people! Smell the babies, cuddle them, laugh with them, be silly with them. Soon, they'll be running through the house screaming at you for not letting them eat 16 lollipops with artificial coloring, or not letting them watch the kindle for 20 hours a day, or not letting them run around in the front yard, naked, waving at every coworker of yours, or for not letting them put make up on the dog.
So, to wrap it all up, I'll leave you all with a very long photo montage of some of the moments from this past year, in all it's glory!! Happy New Year, and I hope this year gives you so many gifts of love, happiness and laughter!!
